


The story of Aisle 4

by DaniPel



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Horniness, Other, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 00:53:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19983355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniPel/pseuds/DaniPel
Summary: well basically Lil Dicky and Angie Yonaga get married, so yeah hapiness woah. Neverless Sonia Nevermind is brought to the wedding to assassinate a certain rich man...did I mention the wedding happened in Target, aisle 4? After this I hope you realize how amazing the aisle is.





	The story of Aisle 4

**Author's Note:**

> What am I doing with my life pfft
> 
> This was made for a friend of mine but now im drunk enough to post it uwu

"Oh, gee. I sure love the internet! They can sexualize anything, that's for sure." - Pkrussl, 'BALDIS BASIC CRINGE'

Lil Dicky and Angie we're going to get married. Lil Dicky teared up at this thought. "No shit, how I getta women like that as my girl?" Lil Dicky announced to Kayne West. Kayne shrugged. "Listen, man. Gotta leave. Sans and Nagito are waiting for me-" Kayne chuckled. "-Its Sunday." "Nah, man. Sunday is always an excuse, bye hoe!" Dicky says and reaches the cabinet, eating a hidden pear in there. Kayne leaves, cleaning his fingers before he does. "Angie... hell, her name is so beautiful...can't believe I get to marry her at target, in aisle 4," Dicky says to himself, amused by the religious trash Angie.

___

"Honey. wake up." Dicky raises his head. He sees the women of his fucking awful disgusting TERRIBLE, and I mean TERRible dreams, Bootylicious Angie. He FUCKING drools about the women, but whatever. Angie smiles her obnoxious bitchy fucked up ass smile. "Honey-" Angie grins. "Target is the place we are getting married at, correct...?" now, usual people, maybe like you (if you weren't reading this fic), would get married at a rich, Gucci, wedding. But not Angie. Naw, she gonna get married at target.

___

Byakuya stares at the floor, drunk. crying. upset. His husband, (now former husband), left him with their child. A pink, happy, Furby. What joy that Furby is, and he named him "Heinz, Tomato Ketchup." since that's what came into his mind first. Byakuya has his kid, cradling him in his arms. "Go to bed... no... Trump ain't coming back..." Byakuya said to the Furby. T'was was a sad day for all. "*furbish noises*," Says Heinz. "shhh, now go to bed." Byakuya snapped but tried to be calmer in a way. Byakuya gets up to look at the picture of him and Trump, happily standing next to each other. **SMASH**. Byakuya leaves the photo, broken, harmed, past-reminder, on the floor. He couldn't BEAR with it right now. He took Heinz to sleep and slept in his bed, sad to 'him' not right next to him when he woke up. Byakuya is shocked to find tears, long and blue-like (like the tear emoji) rolling down his face. He then walks to his mailbox. 'Hello, Togami Byakuya! We have invited you to our wedding. don't be late~' said the mail. On the bottom, it said 'Target, 1134, time: 11333333'. he walks away and gets ready.

___

"You's a very good assassin, Ms.Sonia." Said a bee, named BuzzBee. "Thank you, master," Sonia replied, huffing and huffing. She just killed very famously, Ariana Grande (The person who helped Leon Kuwata make the very famous song, 'Thank u, aho.'). Sonia takes one gun of hers an starts to clean it. She looks up at BuzzBee. "Is there anything else you need me to do?" Sonia says when getting to the edge of her gun with her tissue. "Yes, actually." BuzzBee bits his lips. "Here," Buzzbee smiles when giving Sonia a card that's a bit damp, letters bit washed, but it says, 'Hello, Kaito Momata! We have invited you to our wedding. don't be late~' said the mail. On the bottom, it said 'Target, 1134, time: 11333333- Angie Yonaga' "Some idiot must've left the invitation on their ground. fucking idiot," BuzzBee said, grinning a bit though. He smiles at Sonia. "You know who Kaito is, correct?" BuzzBee said. "Some astronaut, right?" Sonia says. "Correct. Also connected to Angie Yonaga and Lil' Dicky. Best friends, they are. That is an invitation to their wedding." BuzzBee said, smirking. : "ah. and?" Sonia asks, trying to get where BuzzBee is going at. "and Angie Yonaga and Lil' Dicky are connected to a target of ours-" BuzzBee announced, "-Byakuya Togami." Sonia stares in amazement. "Woah, really...?" Sonia grins and drops the gun, splashes back to the floor, once cleaned, now back to dirty. "isn't Togami that rich stoner whos's got a Furby child?" Sonia says. She has so many targets, its hard to remember some of them. "Correct. The wedding is today, and I expect him to be there." BuzzBee said softly. "Bring your dirty ass gun." ___ Angie walks towards the mirror, eyes gazing at herself. She is wearing an ugly ass "Gucci Spaghetti Strap Velvet Bee Embroidered Gown (or at least that's what eBay calls it)." Angie starts braiding her white, snow hair. "oooh, today is the day where it's official for me to fuck Lil Dicky..." Angie puts her hands on her face, making a cute but too adorable expression. Angie starts putting flowers on her hair, all black and some painted to look like Nazi signs. She makes sure she has shoes on and then walks out. She looks so godamn pretty. But all nice looking objects look fucked up in a way.

___

Byakuya suits up and cheerfully put his son in the back of the limo. "Now, don't complain or scream or cry in Furby tonight," Byakuya says to his child. "Here, watch some porn." Byakuya hands his phone to Heinz. Heinz stares at the screen, a tad deviant. Byakuya sits in the front and starts tearing up @ the fact that he doesn't have an orange shoulder to lean on. Byakuya doesn't notice how there is a silver and bright colored car following him... that car was Sonia's. "So, this is the ass that's going to the target wedding, huh?" Sonia says into her microphone, curious and hungry for answers. She liked getting to know her victims. "Yep, just follow him. Sneak attack him when you get to have him alone at the wedding." BuzzBee responds with. "Okay.." Sonia bites her lips. "Are they going to allow me at the wedding?" Sonia asks. "Its target. What the fuck do you think they are going to do?" The microphone shouts.

___

Kokichi comes in and makes sure to count the guests. Kokichi is the godamn priest in a target wedding I'm so fucking done rn. He counts, the porn artist from next door, the person who faps over star wars, the old grandpa who kisses trees for fun, the girl who is a sociopath but no one minds, and Byakuya Togami. What a nice pairing. But Kokichi counts a women who he doesn't know. "Sorry... but who the hell are you and why's you coming here with that fake ass?" Kokichi snaps. "Im... Sonia... Nevermind." Sonia says. "Seems legit." Kokichi walks away, flexing his lingerie before he goes. Sonia smirks, she then realizes how everyone at the target are fucking idiots. lil dicky starts smiling brightly when she walks down the aisle.

___

"...*speaks in pig latin but imma say he said "You may kiss the whore".*" Kokichi says, closing the 'bible'. Angie leans her face towards Lil' Dicky, and he smacks her in the lip with his. Everyone cheers, expect for Togs ofc. They all start having the party, and eat the cake they bought at Super Target, and aisle 4 is full of glee and joy. Then Togami grabs Heinz and starts walking away. Sonia follows, holding her fucking dirty ass gun with her.

____

Togami sighs and puts Heinz (if you forgot, he is the Furby btw) down. He reaches for the limo door when- *BOOM GUN SOUND EFFECT* Togami pauses and then slowly turns around. Heinz. Dead. Togami stares coldly at it. But then feels a sudden urge of something. Something that urges to express. Something to show some opinion. He never felt anything ever since Trump left. And now Heinz dead, he feels emotions once more. But now it's like, Sadness packed lmao "You." Togami said, wide-eyed. He spots Sonia. She laughs. "Aimed for you, missed! Sorry, dear. Let me have a second chance." She aims for Togami once more but then, BUT THEN, god appeared. Sans, Kayne West, and Nagito kill Sonia with their gay power. She dropped instantly dead. "Sorry I couldn't come for the wedding, its Sunday!" Nagito says. Sans looks down, flustered. "Thank you." Togami whispers. They didn't hear it though, so they think he is still being the ass Togami. They come up to him anyway. "So... did Lil Dicky get a boner?" Kayne asks, trying to not look at the dead Furby body. "Sadly, yes," Togami confesses. All four walk back up to the target up to aisle 4, just for a while to forget the weird shit that just happened.


End file.
